Regret

          In my life I have done one thing that I really, truly regret. I started smoking. I’m not going to give away the particulars of the whens and wheres, but suffice to say,I was too young to be doing it and I knew better. It’s something that until a little over a year ago I still did on a regular basis. I quit in October of last year, but this time of year I feel the familiar urge to imbibe.

          When I quit it wasn’t a challenge for me. Like most people who quit, I had quit several times before and I would sometimes even go a couple of months without so much as a drag, but it was always hard and I was always irritable. When I quit last year, it wasn’t a challenge. There was no struggle. I woke up one morning and smoked the last Marlboro Menthol in my pack and decided I was too lazy to go to the store to replenish my supply. I stayed lazy for a day or so before I realized that if I had lasted a day or two, I could last a lot longer than that. So I did. I have the urge occasionally to light one up, especially when I come across my Sig Arms Zippo lighter dad gave me, but I’ve always stayed strong. I’ve seen what smoking can do to someone’s health and the potential ruin it can have on a family, but sometimes all I can think about is that first draw off of a freshly lit cigarette and how, if it’s been a little while, it makes you feel light headed.

          My smoking habits always seemed stress induced; the more nervous or apprehensive, the more I would smoke. On a good week I’d smoke a pack or a pack and a half in the entire week. If it was a bit more stressful there were times it was a pack a day. Lately I’ve even been getting the familiar shaking of my hands when my body is convinced I need to light up and after meals it’s all I can do to not purchase and pack and fill my lungs with that oh-so-tasty cancer. I’m weak, what can I say?

          The holidays stress me out, specifically with my job and it’s becoming harder every day to fight the urge. I will prevail though like I have every day for the last year and change but some days, today in particular, it sucks. If you’ve never smoked, I beg you, don’t ever start.

Thanks for the comments on yesterday’s blog! Keep the suggestions coming and I’ll post a poll tomorrow.

Fast Fiction

          To defeat the constant struggle with writer’s block I’ve been having lately, I have done some research and I’m determined to knock this damn dirty ape off of my back.

          Yesterday, Wil Wheaton tweeted about an intro he wrote for a book called “The Fast Fiction Challenge, Part 2” by Lee Barnett. Essentially, the Fast Fiction Challenge is where a writer is given a word, and within a designated timeframe, he or she must write a short fiction story that uses that word at some point. From my understanding Lee goes for exactly 200 words for every story that he writes. The end of that sentence marked 101 for me, so as you can see, it’s not much space to get the context of a story across to readers.

          Due to a discussion with my wife this evening I have decided that I’m going to give it a try here on my blog. My Monday blog will detail what I’ll be writing for my Friday entry; basically, I’ll give a word count because I want to vary it up. On Monday’s entry I want readers to comment and give me a word to use; common or uncommon I will use it in my Friday story. In the event that I get more than one word suggested, I will set up a poll on the site (once my wife teaches me how) and readers can vote until Thursday. Then on Friday my story will appear with the word being used and having the correct word count. Easy enough right? Now this will require a little reader participation, so hopefully that won’t be too much of an issue. Anonymous comments are enabled on my blog so anyone can leave one without having to log in.

          I thing this will be fun for me and I’m really looking forward to stretching out my creative muscles on this exercise. We’ll try it for a bit and if it works, great, and if not, I’ll move on. Blogs will be up like normal through the week, the only real change is that on Friday it will be a Fast Fiction.

          I hope some of you are as stocked about this as I am. That means that I have at least one entry per week where I don’t have to stress about content. This will help my sanity a bit I think.

I’m going to start this week of traditionally. I will do a 200 fast fiction that will post on Friday that includes a reader's word. Start commenting!

Sunday Funday

          The last couple of days I have hit the wall of writer’s block with a resounding thud. I’ve written 54 blogs up to this point and it’s getting a lot harder to find something that I think may be interesting to write about. Case in point; Friday’s “blog” was terrible. I hated it for every second that I was answering the inane questions, but, honestly, I tried all day Thursday and all of Friday morning to come up with something but struck out like a rookie.

The view from my office window.

          To perhaps help remedy the situation I have spent a couple of hours cleaning my office. It still needs some work and some organization, but at this point, it’s as good as it’s going to get. I get a feeling that it will be a big help to my writing process because I can actually get to the keyboard and the mouse now without moving trash or books or just general clutter out of the way.

          As I was wrapping up my cleaning I sat down in my chair and turned around a caught my lab, Harvey, just staring out the window watching the snow fall. It’s a peaceful scene; he’s watching out the window, and I’m watching him. Some days it’s good to be me.

          Well, now I’m off to help Stacey get Grayson dressed in warm gear so she can take him to play in the snow. I’m smarter than that, and I will stay inside and hang out with Jackie. I hope everyone has a great day! Enjoy the little things!